Wednesday, 18 December 2013

Appalling Xmas Jokes

What is is Santa's favourite pizza?

One that's deep pan, crisp and even!

What did Santa do when he went speed dating?

He pulled a cracker.

Why did no-one bid for Rudolph and Blitzen on eBay?

because they were too deer!

What does Miley Cyrus have at Christmas?


Patient: Doctor, Doctor I'm addicted to Christmas leftovers!
Doctor: Well, you'd better go cold turkey.

You can thank my colleagues X

Saturday, 14 December 2013

National Christmas Jumper Day!

Hey Everyone!

So when I think christmas jumper, in my head I'm immediately picturing the famous Bridget Jones scene and we are talking serious cheese!  

Well over the past couple of years the xmas jumper has morphed into something oh so much cooler, and in a sort of hipster dig at ugly jumpers people are now sporting awesome designs and wearing them is really fun and festive! Today I am taking part in National Christmas Jumper Day, which is an event in connection with Save the Children where you can text "WOOLLY" to 70050 to donate £1 (T's and c's)  and sport a xmas jumper of your choice.

I was recently contacted by Simplybe who have kindly provided me with a jumper for the occasion which is in a word, ADORABLE! You can check out their full range here.

I had a choice out a range of super cute designs and I went for the white mittens jumper. The knit is really soft and comfortable and on a freezing cold morning I was nice and cosy. The design itself is simplistic, there is black trim around the neckline and wrists as accents and the mittens look as if they are hanging round your neck in the classic christmassy colours.

The length is really good on me too, with plus size clothing sometimes jumpers can come up short and wide, but the proportions were perfect! I would also say the jumper runs true to size and has a bit of stretch if needed.

Jumper- SimplyBe
Jacquard Dress- George at Asda
Boots- Primark

I am so chuffed with this jumper and shall be sporting it on xmas day when I'm tucking into my turkey! I can't wait!

What christmas jumpers are you sporting this year? Tell me about them below!

Thanks for reading, Love Sally X


Wednesday, 11 December 2013

Pure Chimp Review, serious monkey business

Hi Guys! 
Today I'm going to be reviewing a product I received a little while ago from a company called Pure Chimp (

The company was set up in 2013 to help people with various skin problems and they even feature a Top Tips section on the site for targeted advice to help alongside the cream. The graphics on the site are super cute and feature little monkeys as well which I liked! I also noted the banana as the dot on the "I" in chimp which works well in the logo.

 The cream I am reviewing is a completely natural, handmade and vegan super cream for those of us with sensitive/dry/itchy/red/sunburnt skin. Sounds good hey? 

So let's take a look at the packaging, it's a simple black pot (bigger than the usual moisturiser pots I have) with the Purechimp branding. The ingredients are simply the below:

  • Hemp Seed Wax
  • Safflower Oil
  • Sunflower Oil
  • Hemp Seed Oil
  • Lavender OIl
  • Wheatgerm Oil

Retail Price £15 for 120ml or £10 for 60ml. This may seem a little high but you only need a small amount so it lasts for ages! I've had it a few months and it's still half full.

I found the cream application to be deeply moisturising and it worked wonders on the dry patches I can never seem to shift, which were gone within a couple of weeks. *Tip: good for your elbows!!* The consistency itself is thick but it isn't heavy or greasy and it glides onto the skin and sinks in nice and easily. It's reassuring that the ingredients are all natural as my skin can be quite sensitive and prone to breakouts when using products for the first time

I have to say I am really pleased overall with this product and will definitely continue using it for problem areas until it runs out. This is definitely a quality product that does exactly what it says on the tin!

How do you treat dry skin or problem areas? I'd love to hear your tips!

Thanks for reading, love Sally X


Saturday, 16 November 2013

My Top 10 most played songs this week

Halle - fricking - lujah, it's finally the weekend! 

Today I thought I would share 10 songs that I have been playing loads this week, I've never touched upon my musical tastes so this is a bit of a random post. But hey, let's take our relationship to the next level and get to know each other, learn each others interests. 

In no particular order:

1. Bruno Mars - If I Was Your Man - a shout out to all the stupid ex boyfriends out there

2. The Vamps - Can We Dance - these guys are adorable, the lyrics are catchy, need I go on?

3. Fergie - Labels or Love - to spark off a Sex and the City themed mind montage

4. Christina Perri - A Thousand Years - this song appeals to the Twi-hard in me, the lyrics are lovely too!

5. Lily Allen - Somewhere Only We Know - I'm a sucker for a John Lewis advert, there I said it!

6. The Lumineers - Ho Hey - a really easy listening tune with solid lyrics

7. Passenger - Let Her Go - LOVE this guys voice, it's so unique

8. Avicii - Wake Me Up - one of my favourite songs to warble along to in the car

9. Avicii - You Make Me - *high pitch screech* "Allllllll myyyyy liiiiiiife"

10. Jason Derulo - Talk Dirty to Me - it's a bit rendevous and the sound effects in the "clean" version make me laugh

What have you been listening to? What lyrics can't you get out of your head? Tell me below!

Thanks for reading! Love Sally X


Friday, 15 November 2013

Plus Size Christmas Party Dresses - Evans

Hey Everyone,

Happy Friday! Today I'm sharing my top picks from Evans for Christmas party dresses. I was surprised at the great selection as I tend to neglect Evans in my pursuit of fast, cheap fashion nowadays that generally takes me to Asda or Primark. The pieces below are super cute and totally within my price range, win!

Product Details:

Choose a directional, fitted shape for your party look this season. The pink lace plus size prom dress by Scarlett & Jo is the ideal fit for every date in your diary. With a black lace overlay and simple pink prom dress underneath, the dress is gently cinched in with a black ribbon tie belt.

Product Details:

Sorrento black all over embellished short sleeve dress with cobalt lining.

Product Details:

Flatter your figure in beautiful florals with the blue floral print wrap dress. The plus size dress comes from fun and fearless brand Scarlett & Jo for Evans, with an ivory and sky blue rose print on a classic navy base. Comprising a wrap front neckline and elasticated shirred waist to complement the figure, this dress is perfect for Busty and Apple shapes, whilst Hourglasses and Pears can add a belt for extra style.

Product Details:

Sorrento black short sleeve V-neck dress, with heavy embellishment detail.

Product Details:

Fit and flare styles are your key to shape perfect partywear. This plus size dress from COLLECTION by Evans is a hallmark of festive fashion. With a pewter metallic yarn woven across a dark base, the dress boasts turn back sleeve accents and a gorgeous beaded neckline.

Product Details:

Sorrento black all over embroidered sleeveless dress with scoop neckline and ivory slip lining.

Product Details:

Get ready for the party season with the purple embellished shift dress by Scarlett & Jo for Evans. The plus size dress has a stunning retro shift shape with beautifully hand embellished black beading on the front.

Which dresses do you like? Do you shop at Evans or favour cheaper stores? Let me know in the comments.

Thanks for reading! Love Sally X 


Tuesday, 12 November 2013

Plus Size Christmas Party Dresses - ASOS Curve

Hey Everyone!

Today is the next installment in my party dress series, showcasing my favourites from ASOS.


Image 1 of ASOS CURVE Exclusive Swing Dress With Beaded Neck

Product Details:
Plus size dress exclusive to the ASOS CURVE collection
  • Made from a woven poly fabric
  • Crew neckline
  • Bead embellished yoke
  • Fluid skirt with gentle pleating
  • Zip back fastening
  • Relaxed, swing style
  • Regular fit

Image 1 of Little Mistress Long Sleeve Mesh Detail Dress With Skater Skirt

Product Details:
  • Made from a delicate sheer chiffon
  • Boat neckline
  • Zip back
  • Fit and flare shape
  • Exclusive to ASOS

Image 1 of ASOS CURVE Exclusive Shift Dress In Sequin

Product Details:
Plus size dress exclusive to the ASOS CURVE collection
  • Made from a sequinned poly fabric
  • Boat neckline
  • Scoop back, self-tie fastening
  • Regular fit

Image 1 of Carmakoma Shift Dress With Leather Look Discs

Product Details:
  • Made from 100% pure cotton
  • Semi-sheer finish
  • Round neckline
  • Zip back
  • Leather-look disc embellishment
  • Body skimming fit

Image 1 of ASOS CURVE Skater Dress In Lace With Scallop Edge

Product Details:
  • Made from an easy-care poly fabric
  • Scalloped v-shape neckline
  • All-over lace overlay
  • Fitted waistband
  • Softly pleated skirt
  • Regular fit

Image 1 of ASOS CURVE Bodycon Dress With Deep Plunge Brooch Neck

Product Details:
  • Made from a soft silky fabric blend
  • Embellished brooch detail to neckline
  • Plunging keyhole cut to front
  • Sheer mesh sleeves
  • Keyhole button fastening to reverse
  • Bodycon fit

Image 4 of Little Mistress Embellished Waist Wrap Front Skater Dress

Product Details:
  • Made from a semi-sheer chiffon
  • Deep V-neckline, wraparound styling
  • Button cut-out back
  • Contrast jewel and bead band
  • Zip back fastening
  • Fit and flare shape
  • Exclusive to ASOS

Image 1 of Little Mistress Embellished Sleeve Pencil Dress

Product Details:
- Made from a breathable woven fabric
- Notched square neckline
- Button keyhole back
- Contrast appliqué shoulder overlays
- Zip back
- Bodycon fit
- Exclusive to ASOS

What do you think? Would you wear any of these for your xmas do?

Thanks for reading! Love Sally X


Monday, 11 November 2013

Guest Post: A/W trends as seen in VOGUE, seen on ME!

Hi guys! My name is Megan, I blog over at For my guest post today I am going to be trialling some A/W trends that have been featured in Vogue, and letting you know how I got on with them myself. I will show you the products I used and show you pictures of all the looks, enjoy!
Petal-Stained Lips
What Vogue says: As with spring/summer 2013, lips look set to be, on the most part, very matte for the new season. But for autumn/winter 2013-14 they appear stained rather than painted, either with colour diffusing from the inside of the lips outwards - as at Dior and Marni, or with a darker, berry-stained effect at Derek Lam, Prada and Vera Wang.

So I wasn’t completely sold when I put this look on. On a flawless skinned, ethereal beauty in a magazine it looks innocent yet sexy, on me it just looks like I have either been sipping too many red wines (not the best look on a Monday morning) or just can’t apply lipstick properly. I used the Darkest of shades right in the centre of my lip then worked outward with the lighter ones, blurring the edges of my lips with some concealer at the end. I was doing this during the day so wanted to keep it quite subtle. Anyway, the first thing I had to do was pop to the shops with my housemate; “you have lipstick on your teeth” oops, not the best start, yet I soldiered on.  No other comments came my way that day and due to the placement of the lipstick it soon faded. So overall I was not very enamoured with this look, however practice makes perfect so I will be giving it a whirl again, maybe in the evening so I can try and go a bit bolder!

The Thin Black Line

What Vogue says: Black eye liner is a staple in most make-up bags, but for this season - if you're not trying out the Sixties trend - the way to wear it is in a skinny line along the top lashes. A particular favourite at New York Fashion Week, the look added subtle and almost invisible definition at the likes of Victoria Beckham, Alexander Wang, Proenza Schouler and Christopher Kane.

I and eyeliner are old friends; I used to feel pretty darn naked without a slick of eyeliner on. However, my go-to liner shape of choice is usually a quite thick, slightly winged offering, so this was a little different for me. I actually really liked this look, it added definition to my eyes without looking too ‘made up’, perfect for those ‘I’m not wearing make-up, I woke up looking his good’ make up looks. This eyeliner from Maybelline is perfect for me as the round tip means it can be used flat for my usual thicker, winged eyeliner, or turned on its side for thin precise lines.

Red Nails

What Vogue says: A noticeable increase in red nail looks was apparent backstage at the shows, with garnet shades at Burberry and Meadham Kirchhoff and bold tomato tones at Chanel, Valentino and Topshop Unique.

I have 4 reds to show you today, the mini OPI  ( I do not know the shade) is on my pinky and the rest of the colours correspond to their place in the line (the varnish next to opi, is the nail next to my pinky etc) My personal favourite from the line up is the Nails inc  offering in the shade Tate, it is the perfect dark red colour with not too much of a berry tone, it is also easy to apply and looks good in one coat. For reference, the 2 middle nails have 2 coats of polish whilst the first and last have only 1.

I hope you have enjoyed my round up of A/W trends as seen in Vogue, will you be giving any of them a go yourself? I hope to see you soon over at! 
Megan x


Sunday, 10 November 2013

Plus Size Christmas Party Dresses - Marisota

Hey Everyone,

Today is the second part of my Christmas dress series in the same format as before with my top ten picks. This time we will be looking at one of my favourite places to shop, Comment below on your thoughts please!

Velour And Lace Dress

Product Details:
  • A sexy new take on the little black dress that mixes soft stretch velour with contrasting black lace insert, it is every way a sexy versatile black dress. Pretty back-button fastening. Three-quarter-length lace sleeves that show just a flash of skin, this dress is a must-have!

Beaded Raglan Sleeve Dress

Product Details:
  • Taking inspiration from the studs and spikes that have graced the catwalks, the raglan sleeves have been decorated with soft silver tubular and gold rounded beads to create an eye-catching piece that will ensure you stand out from the crowd. The sheer fabric is fully lined and features keyhole fastening to the back neck.

Claire Richards Sequin Bodycon Dress

Product Details:
  • Steal the spotlight this party season in this sequin dress. Showered all-over with light-reflecting sequins, the dress is fitted with a stretchy, supportive lining for a fabulously figure-fitting finish. It’s been cut with a glamorous slashed neck and drops to a V-shape at the back. The three-quarter sleeves keep things classy, and the midi length ensures you’ll be channelling all-out movie star sophistication.

Changes By Together Bead Trim Tunic

Product Details:
  • This flattering tunic dress with embellished neckline and button cuffs gives you a glamorous edge this season. Body lined.

Coleen Nolan Mesh Beaded Dress

Product Details:
  • Coleen Nolan ultimate little black dress. Cut for the perfect fit with mesh sleeves and mesh panel inserts for a sexy and slimming effect. Embellished neckline.

MAGISCULPT Velour Dress Firm Control Level 3

Product Details:
  • It’s all under control with shape-enhancing built-in panels. Firm control has all-round power built in. This gorgeous velour dress is the perfect piece for making an elegant style statement. Fitted with a discreet sculpting panel that pulls you in at the waist, this sleeveless dress is designed to define your silhouette. The deep V-neckline and soft-touch fabric will ensure you stand out from the crowd in style.

Bonded Lace Prom Dress

Product Details:
  • The perfect party dress - easy to wear in stretch bonded lace fabric. Stylish to look at with a pleated prom-style skirt, sweetheart neckline and exposed back zip. Why not try with our bow-sleeve shrug in black for an added touch of class.

BESPOKEfit Spot Tunic Very Voluptuous Fit H-K+

Product Details:
  • Cup Size clothing, a simple solution for your Bespoke Fit. Brighten up your winter wardrobe with this gorgeous spot print tunic dress. The elasticated back cinches in the waist whilst the front pleats, Peter Pan collar and keyhole fastening to back are charming finishing touches. Choose your normal dress size, then your cup size.

Project D London Olympia Lace Maxi Dress

Product Details:
  • Project D London ‘Olympia’ lace maxi dress. If you want to make an entrance then this designer floor-sweeping stretch lace maxi dress is THE dress for it! From the plunging neckline to the pretty pleated shoulder detailing and contrast satin side panels, everything about this dress drips opulent glamour. Super fitted and figure-hugging, this designer dress has been crafted to accentuate and celebrate your body. Not only will you feel super sexy and cinched in you’ll be desperate to get your wiggle on! The satin lining is gorgeous against your skin and flashes of it are visible through the heavy luxurious stretch corded lace; with the contrast fabric side panelling detail to waist and sophisticated long feature zip to back, you’re going to feel like a million dollars! Now for the biggest decision - classic sophisticated black or luxurious magenta?

Lovedrobe Sequin Detail Dress

Product Details:
  • For effortless glamour, choose this beautiful paisley print sequin detail maxi dress. Featuring cap sleeves and dipped hem skirt, this outfit will have you feeling party ready.

Hope you liked my choices, let me know your favourite!

Thanks for reading, love Sally X

© The Human Mannequin. All rights reserved.